“Communication that Connects” - in the workplace
Whether we are working from home or the office, most tasks require some degree of collaboration. Communication is an indispensable skill in your toolbox. We often focus on being heard, sometimes at the expense of others’ feelings. However, effective communication includes listening beyond the words; to what is really important to one another. It also includes “deep listening”. Speaking out our message is not always as important as understanding what the others are “hearing”. Here are 4 tips for communication in the workplace.
1. Observation, not evaluation, should be your first step
When we start an interaction with evaluations and judgements, we could inadvertently place the other person in a defensive position (if they hear criticism, or judgement, even if we didn’t intend it). Their attention would then likely divert away from the topic at hand.
Imagine a scenario where you want to give a stressed supervisee some tips on coping with a heavy workload. If your colleague expresses anger over a multitude of impending deadlines, saying “relax, there’s no need to be stressed,” may cause them to instinctively defend their mode of being stressed as a natural reaction. Instead, something like “you seem stressed” will encourage them to remain present and grounded. This will help you guide the conversation towards helping them. Observation is a key part of compassionate communication, so try applying this tip in your daily lives as well!
2. Make clear and positive requests
As much as we might wish, it turns out that other people in our team cannot read our minds. In order for people to understand what you need, you can use the beautiful and courageous skills of “making a clear request”. Rather than say what you wish to avoid, or beat around the bush, be clear and courageous to ask for what you do want. Avoid vague requests. Some people resort to ambiguity when they feel that they are asking for too much. As long as you can justify your request, do not be afraid to put it out there. Clarity is such a gift. The following examples will help you differentiate between a vague and clear request.
Vague request: “It would be good if you could, perhaps, do X a favour by helping with his project where you can.”
Clear request: “Could you help X with the [marketing] part of his project?”
Similarly, requests for positive actions will invite a more favourable response than requests for negative omissions.
Positive request: “Can you use this light for the ceiling?”
Negative request: “Please don’t use that light for the ceiling.” Negative requests tend to be ambiguous and may discourage people by telling them what not to do as opposed to what they can do.
3. Deliver your message in a format your audience is most receptive to
Some people take better to visuals than words, while others can only be persuaded through first-hand experience. When preparing for a presentation, get to know your audience. Are they more interested in wordy articles or infographics? Is your team into podcasts? These are indicators of how they prefer to receive information.
When you are communicating to a big group, there may not be a form of communication that the majority inclines towards. Hence, craft your communication in a way that caters to various types of people. Use a good mix of graphics, worded explanations and demonstrations to bring your message across.
4. Check that your audience understands your message
Everyone interprets the same message differently. It is important to check that your intended message has been brought across. You can ask your colleague to recap what you ran through, or summarise your message and request(s) for your manager at the end of your interaction. Make yourself available for future queries too.
Do not lambast yourself if you find your communication skills lacking. Instead, try out these tips and discover more of your own. The fun thing about communication is that you can learn something from every interaction, so be conscious of and attentive to how you are communicating!