5 ways to avoid caregiver burnout
If you are a caregiver, you can probably relate to this. Of course, the situation varies for everyone, but many caregivers report that they often feel unappreciated. Not only is a lack of appreciation upsetting for caregivers, they may also face additional stress as they worry about how to help their care recipients be happy, and some may even slide into depression. A survey done by Ageing in Place showed that 75% of caregivers found balancing work and caregiving stressful and 50% found it overwhelming, while between 20% – 40% suffered from depression. As of 2017, 40.2% of caregivers of stroke patients in Singapore were found to have depressive symptoms.
Yet, it is common for care recipients to come across as unappreciative. Many of them are grappling with a loss of mobility; others are coming to terms with their reduced mental capacity. They may resent needing help or may not have the emotional bandwidth to empathise with their caregiver’s suffering. Additionally, some care recipients may have become accustomed to being cared for and no longer realise how tough it can be for their caregiver. If they are losing physical and mental capacity, they also may be unable to express their appreciation.
Caregiver burnout is a very real problem and feeling unappreciated often adds to it. Helping yourself remain energized and compassionately engaged is important. Here are some ways you can practice self-compassion as a caregiver!
1. Talk to your colleagues and employer about your situation
A main struggle many caregivers face is balancing work and caregiving. Talk to your colleagues and employer about your situation and help them understand your needs and concerns. That way, they can be more understanding when you are unavailable or held back due to caregiving commitments. This will also help those around you to better delegate work to you. For example, if you are going through a tough time, understanding employers could assign you work that does not have an urgent deadline. If possible, you may even work out a flexible working arrangement! Additionally, your superiors will be able to advise you regarding employee welfare programs.
2. Share the Load - Work out a feasible arrangement with your family
If you are caring for a loved one who has other family members around, try sharing the load with them. Perhaps your care recipient can alternate between living with you this year and living with your sibling next year, or simply go over to their house on the weekends. That way, you can get some much-needed time to yourself! Alternatively, you could hire a full-time or part-time nurse or helper and split the cost with the rest of your family.
3. Seek professional help
Everyone needs help from time to time. There is no shame in recognizing that you too, are only human. Do not be embarrassed to seek help! Just because you are a caregiver does not mean that you must bear the stress alone. Even the sturdiest rock can be eroded by the constant crashing of waves. Reach out to a therapist or counsellor when you feel you may become overwhelmed. These trained professionals will be able to give you specific, effective advice. Some companies offer referral services, so check out your company’s welfare policy first! Alternatively, make a trip down to your local General Practitioner to ask for some references!
4. Self-Kindness - Recognize yourself for your hard work
You may feel like caregiving is a responsibility and not something praiseworthy. However, do not dismiss your hard work that way. Caregiving is noble and can be seen as a beautiful opportunity to care for and connect to other humans. It is often difficult for someone to dedicate much of their life to another, whether you love them or not. It is valid and important to recognize this. Be aware of the difficulties and challenges that you face. Just had a difficult argument with your care recipient this morning? Take some time to sooth yourself. Have a nice lunch out at your favourite restaurant! Running to back-to-back appointments the whole weekend? Go sit with a good friend, or a good book for a while. There are many simple, quick ways to take care of yourself, so practice some self-compassion by recognising your struggles and giving yourself a pat on the back! Self-kindness is a wonderful antidote to stress.
5. Recognize that you are not the target - Take hurtful words with a pinch of salt.
Lastly, do not be quick to react to hurtful words that your care recipient may say! It is very likely that such words are said out of resentment and anger at the situation, not at you. Their frustration at having to rely on someone else may cause them to lash out more often and harsher than before. Know that they appreciate you very much, even if they do not show it!
Caregiving can be an exhausting, often thankless job. It is most important to practice self-compassion and actively seek to lighten your load! Caregivers, in case you have not heard this today, thank you for what you do – you are amazing!