“I’ve gotten so used to staying home that I almost wish the lockdown wouldn’t be lifted, but then again... I can’t wait to see my friends, go shopping and eat out,” my friend chatted with me over the phone. We laughed, uplifted by the thought of socialising again. Yet, for people with social anxiety, this thought does not bring the same joy. There is no “but then again”.

As foreign as it may sound, the past month(s) have been a reprieve for some people with social anxiety. The need for social inactivity has taken away much of their stress and anxiety. However, like a muscle that is left unworked, this can have the negative consequence of setting back any progress that social anxiety sufferers have made. Some will need to get used to stepping out of the house again. The prospect of emerging from a lockdown may feel overwhelming. If this is something you struggle with, here are 4 tips you can practice to prepare you for the post-lockdown situation:

1. Become aware of the negative thoughts underlying your anxieties

The first step to addressing any challenge is to identify the challenge. Why are you feeling anxious? As your friends plan post-lockdown social events, you may find yourself feeling fear over specific scenarios. List down these fears so that you can consider them.  Take some time to go a little deeper than usual in this enquiry.  What is it you need?  Can you be clear about what needs of yours are sometimes not met when you experience anxiety?

2. Respond to your negative thoughts with compassion

Firstly, do not beat yourself up. Accept your feelings and make clear, non-judgemental observations about yourself. For example, instead of saying, “I am being stupid”, tell yourself, “I am feeling anxious because you do not want to be the centre of attention”.

Secondly, offer yourself a little compassion. Comfort yourself like you would a friend. Even if you do not believe it, tell yourself that “it is ok to be anxious, everyone has their unique set of struggles and you are no different.” With time, you can come to believe those words.

As mentioned early, can you identify what you need? Would assurance and support from your friends help calm the anxiety? Is it just a matter of practice and repeated socialising? Be patient with yourself as you go through this exercise of compassion.

3. Continue interacting with your friends and family during the lockdown

Whether via calls, messages or video calls, consistent interaction with friends and family serves as good socialising practice. Furthermore, it is always less nerve wracking to meet up with people whom you have been constantly in contact with. Maintaining these relationships can help to alleviate some of the anxiety about resuming physical interactions. 

4. Establish a support system

You may choose to share your anxious experiences with your friends and family. You may find them surprisingly willing to listen to your need for support as you emerge from the lockdown. Remind yourself of what has helped and what has not. If you are working with a therapist, seek his/her input as well. Then, share these strategies with your support system so that they know how to help.  

When restrictions are lifted, not everyone will open their doors with a smile. And that is alright. As you re-enter the world, breathe and take it slow. You have done it before, you can do it again.